The Day My Best Friend Died (And Beyond)
by Just a Complicated Person
Summary: During senior year of high school, someone important dies. How does everyone else move on from this? It's time to meet a much darker world. But in time... hope will emerge, and the life of a new family will begin.
1. The Worst Day of My Life

My name is Maya. It was September 12th, early in the morning. That was the day I lost my world. I heard my mom through the door to my room ask me to get up and come into the living room. I didn't do it quickly though. I mean my mom waking me up at 4:30am was weird but she didn't sound like she was in a panic. So I took my time to go into the bathroom briefly to brush my hair and straighten up a bit. It was the last moment of bliss I ever had. I came into the living room to see my mom and step-dad: Shawn sitting quietly. I quickly guessed by their faces that someone had died. I sat down in front of them and asked what was wrong. Then my mom said the words that broke me. She said, "Last night Riley was in a car accident and died."

Everything felt like it was shutting down around me. I thought this had to be a dream. But no, I was very much awake. I immediately asked how it happened. Shawn explained that Riley was driving home from a late night of cheer leading practice and there was a full on collision with another vehicle. From what was observed, Riley wasn't at fault. The other driver was speeding through a red light. The impact killed that other person as well. I got up and told my parents I needed to go see the Matthews family, but that I had to shower first. I ran into my bathroom, tore off my clothes, and immediately turned on the shower and stepped in.

I curled up into a ball as the water began to hit my naked body. I tried to bury my head in my knees as the water went down my face. I think I did this only because with the water running, it was impossible to tell if the drips of water leaving my eyes were water drops from the shower or tears from my eyes. I prayed to God in that moment for the power to go back in time and change everything. I mean me and Riley had just started senior year of high school. Riley had finally just achieved her dream of being on a cheer leading team. She was practicing long and hard last night because she was now living the dream. I should've been there with her. Why wasn't I with her at her cheer leading practice. If I could go back in time, I could've made her leave the practice sooner... or later... or done something to change what happened.

As I began to rub shampoo in my hair I thought to myself how this just couldn't be. This had to be some kind of trick. Maybe I slipped into some alternate reality or something. Because I wasn't from the world where Riley Matthews died at the age of 17. Me and her were supposed to be friends into old age. That smart genius Farkle must've made some door way into an alternate reality and I forgot I slipped through the portal. Meaning I would one day hopefully get back to my real domain and see my best friend again. But as I stepped out of the shower and wiped away the fog in the mirror to see my face, I looked at my reflection and it dawned on me. This was reality and I was going to have to live with it. My best friend in the entire universe: Riley Matthews was dead, and somehow I was going to have to continue living my life.

I hurried over to the Matthews house. By this point there was a small amount of sunlight outside. For a moment I was about to climb up the ladder that would take me directly into Riley's room. But then I remembered, she wasn't there anymore, and she never will be again. So I went over to the usual front door. I knocked on the door. The person to open it was Riley's mom. We didn't say any words for a moment. We just looked at each other with tears in our eyes. And then suddenly we both hugged each other. Our tears only continued to pour out, but I at least felt a little bit better knowing I wasn't alone in my grief.

I then proceeded to also hug Riley's dad and Riley's brother who were also not far from the door. Riley's mom proceeded to get me something to drink. As I watched Riley's family move and talk though, it was apparent they had gotten little sleep last night. I then asked if they had seen Riley's body and if I could see her. Riley's dad then told me that the accident Riley was in hurt her badly. She was severely wounded and the sight of her body was nothing pleasant to look at. I was saddened even more now. I would never even get the chance to see the face of my best friend ever again. Riley's dad then handed me a ring from his pocket. It was the friendship ring that Riley had been wearing since 7th grade. I looked at my own ring I was still wearing as I stared at the other ring I was now wearing in the palm of my hand.

I began to cry some more as I admitted out loud that I wasn't sure what to do. Riley's mom told me it was okay and that I could stay with them as long as I wanted. I then asked if I could just sit in Riley's room for awhile. Riley's parents let me since the room had pretty much been like a second home to me for years. I immediately ran into the room and laid on Riley's bed. It still smelled like her. You know: sugar, spice, and everything that makes good girls nice. I leaned my head over the side of the bed as I continued to cry. The blood started to rush to my head as I laid with my head upside down and I didn't care. I had no idea what was supposed to happen next. How was life supposed to continue for me without my best friend. Then I suddenly found myself looking under the bed. For some reason I had never looked down there before. And then I saw it. A book all by itself.

I grabbed the book and sat up on the bed with it. The book had no title but as I flipped through the pages, I realized this was Riley's diary. I never knew Riley had a diary. Why did I never know about this? Then I flipped to the last page with writing on it and I found out why. On the page, it said: _Diary, I thought joining the cheer leading team would bring me happiness. And it has, but I still feel empty. Like I'm living a lie. I've asked myself for the last two years why me and Lucas have never kissed or did anything super romantic. And that's when I realized: it's because I don't love Lucas, I love Maya. I mean I really love Maya. I don't know if this makes me queer or something. I mean I don't suddenly want to make love to her or something like that. I just want to be by her side forever. I don't care about getting married or having kids. I just want her. She's the most important person in the world to me and I have to let me her know somehow. I'm just not sure how_."

I dropped the book in shock. Riley was in love with me. Like really in love with me. I didn't know. Why didn't she tell me. I mean I never felt that way but... Ugg. I feel so angry. But maybe I'm hurting so much because Riley was more than my best friend. She was my soul mate, my other half, the best part of my life. Oh God, why did this have to happen? Why...

TO BE CONTINUED...

 _*Author's Note - Feel free to comments and suggestions you have for this story._


	2. The Day of the Funeral

I spent the next two weeks almost entirely in my room. My best friend was dead and nothing was going to bring her back. I tried watching TV, but television could not bring me enjoyment anymore. I didn't want to continue living without Riley. I didn't want to continue living. I was sure I was going to die soon. Why would God let me keep going without her? So I wrote a note that also acted as a will to those I'd be leaving behind. I wrote who would get my prized possessions, and to donate my college fund to Riley's favorite charities. I also of course wrote about how sad I was and how sorry I was.

The thing is I thought I had to die, but for some reason I couldn't. I assumed a large truck or a lightning bolt was going to hit me soon. But it didn't happen. Then when I was home alone one day, I held a large knife in my hand. I held it up close to my chest thinking this was it. I was going to commit suicide to be with Riley. But the thing is I couldn't do it. Riley wouldn't have ever wanted me to hurt myself. And I could never bring myself to do something Riley would've hated me doing. Especially now. So I put the large knife away. I couldn't kill myself. But the thing is I couldn't go on living either. I couldn't go on doing anything. And yet I had to somehow.

I laid in my bed for a whole day at one point. I was eating less and less food every day. On this particular day, I wished the driver who ran into Riley's car was still alive. I wanted to punch them and beat them so they could feel some fraction of the pain I'd felt. But then I'd have to stop because I'd realize it's not what Riley would want me to do. She'd want me to forgive them. And like a crying dummy I would.

My mom and Shawn were giving me all the space I wanted, and I was grateful for that. Mom kept leaving ginger ale soda outside my door, which was the only thing I could drink now. Shawn left me cards from my school friends. I didn't want to read them though. I hadn't even touched my phone since Riley died. I didn't want to face the world at large. I didn't want people to tell me how sorry they were. How sad they were. None of them could understand how I felt. Nobody loved Riley more than me. I wanted to skip Riley's funeral. I didn't want to be surrounded by people who didn't understand how I felt. But I had to go out of respect for my best friend.

On the day of the funeral, I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't look at anyone. I wore all black clothes, wore black sunglasses, and wore a black hat in an attempt to disguise myself. I think some people I knew saw me, but they gave me distance. That is except for Josh; Riley's uncle. As soon as Josh saw me, he came up and gave me a hug. It wasn't what I expected. I thought people would be asking me how I was doing or say how sorry they were. But Josh just hugged me. It was just what I needed. I then expected Josh to ask me if he could do anything to help me. But instead he said he'd come to my apartment later to hang out, and just to simply say no now if I didn't want him to come. I said nothing and then quietly walked away from him.

The rest of the funeral service was such a blur. Riley's mom and dad talked. Mr. Matthews of course tried to teach us all one more lesson again about moving forward and letting our memories of Riley not die and stupid stuff like that. I skipped the time to eat food afterwards. I went straight home. I locked the door to my room and curled up into a ball and began to cry again for the millionth time. But then I heard a knock on my window. I looked outside. It was Josh. He knew exactly when I'd need him. I opened the window, and let him step in. Again, Josh simply gave me a big hug. Then we both sat on my bed and Josh simply said, "Can I sit here with you?" I nodded my head and then sat next to him.

We both sat still for over an hour. I laid my head on Josh's shoulder, and let him caress my right hand with his left hand. Eventually we both began to get tired of sitting up. I began to lay down on the bed. Josh laid next to me. We both began to look into each other's eyes. I thought about Riley's face and how much Josh's face looked like hers. Josh had the same kind of warmth in his eyes like Riley had. And then... I don't know why but... I moved my face forward and kissed Josh. And he immediately kissed me back. And then suddenly we had our arms grabbing the other close. I could feel his warm chest push against mine. Suddenly I moved a foot away from him. A concerned Josh said, "What? What's wrong?" I made a small smile and said, "Nothing." Then I pulled off my shirt and pants, and helped Josh pull off his. We proceeded to hug and kiss again in our underwear as the night began; which also happened to be the night I lost my virginity.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 _*Author's Note - Feel free to comments and suggestions you have for this story._


	3. Confused

I woke up in my bed with nothing but a bed sheet covering my naked body. Then I turned my head and saw Josh lying next to me also naked but asleep. Suddenly it all came back to me. The previous night I lost my virginity to Josh. Josh then opened his eyes and looked at me. He smiled and said, "Hey." I made a small smile and said "Hey" as well. Josh suddenly looked a bit troubled and said, "Did you feel like I took advantage of you last night? I mean you were really upset yesterday and I..." I put a hand on Josh's lips and then said, "No. You did exactly what I needed you to do." Josh then moved his eyes down as he realized he was sneaking another peak at my nude form. I smiled a bit more and said, "So is this gonna be a thing we do from now on?" Josh then looked right into my eyes and said, "I don't know. What we have is complicated Maya. But... I do love you. And maybe that's all that matters."

I made Josh breakfast. We ate silently together and then he left. What had just happened had me left feeling confused. Just as I was sorting out my feelings for my now dead best friend, I was confronted with my feelings for Josh. I had always liked Josh. Truth be told, he was the first boy I ever had a crush on. And you never forget your first. But as I cleaned my apartment, I began to think about what really led me to wanting to have sex with Josh. Was it his looks? Maybe, but I'm not that shallow. Was it because he was my first crush, and I was just living out my middle school dream come true? Maybe, but I'm not some petty girl who tries to live out childhood fantasies. Was it because he's so similar to my dead best friend. Maybe.

I then started to take a shower, but didn't really put a lot of work into cleaning myself. I just wanted to stand around the hot water and just let it touch my body in an attempt to make myself feel better. I wanted to talk to Riley about what I was going through but I couldn't. But regardless, I said out loud: "Riley, what should I do?" And then... I don't know how but... I could hear Riley's voice. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I was seeing a vision of her from beyond the grave. Maybe I was just experiencing wishful thinking. But I heard Riley say, "You should do what makes you happy Maya." I then responded back by saying, "But I'm so confused Riley. I miss you. I wish we could've had more time together." Then I heard Riley's voice say, "The story of our friendship is over Peaches. But that doesn't mean it didn't matter. Let what our relationship taught you about what real love looked like, help you find someone else to love. It's okay to love again." I began to cry as I said, "I love you Riley. I'll never have a friend that made me happy like you again." And then I heard Riley say, "I know. But you deserve to find a friend that makes you happy in a different way." Then I turned off the water. I wasn't sure what led to that supernatural conversation, but I was glad it happened. Riley may be gone now. But that doesn't mean I don't deserve to be loved... by another.

TO BE CONTINUED...

 _*Author's Note - Feel free to comments and suggestions you have for this story._


	4. Moving Forward

I spent the next several weeks not really wanting to talk to anyone. Eventually my mom and Shawn made me go talk to a counselor. It was not initially comfortable to say the least. I was 18 years old. I was at a stage in my life where I was trying to find independence. Yet now I was being treated like a child that needed to be more _de_ pendent again. The early counseling sessions always began with me answering tons of questions about myself. None of which really got down to fixing my problems in life. I was about to give up on therapy, until my therapist said I could bring a loved one with me to my next therapy session. Obviously I could've brought my mom or Shawn. But instead... I brought Josh.

I don't know why I brought Josh to my therapy session. I guess I just wanted him to be a part of my recovery. But he was able to give insight into how much Riley meant to me. Both Josh and my therapist helped me begin to realize that Riley was my anchor to wanting to live. You see when I was little, I ran away from home. You see when I was a seven years old, even at that age I was considering suicide. But meeting Riley suddenly gave me something to live for. She gave me a reason to smile and want to wake up the next day. Riley had essentially been linked in my mind with my desire to live. But that evening when me and Josh went to dinner, Josh said something I'll never forget. He told me, "Just because Riley is gone, doesn't mean everything you learned from her about how to be a good friend is." That's when it dawned on me. My memories of Riley up until now had been haunting me; reminding me what I could never have again. But instead, I could use my memories of what me and Riley had to teach me; teach me to be kind to others the way Riley was kind me, teach me how to recognize what real friendship looks like, and teach me what I could teach to others about what meeting the world really looked like.

So I began to do more volunteer work in the community that helped other people; always showing kindness the way Riley would've wanted. And I began to spend more and more evenings with Josh. So many evenings that one day, Josh gave me a present. It was a key. A key to his apartment. So on the night that I turned nineteen, I went to Josh's apartment. I knocked on his door. He opened the door. For the first time in so long, I put a smile on my face and said, "Josh. I'm finally ready to be happy again. And I wish to be happy... with you."

 **The End (For Now)**


	5. One Year Later

A year has passed since the day Riley died. I had just started college, and me and Josh were living together. We visited Riley's grave early that morning. We went early together partly because the school year had just started and we had classes to get to later that morning. But the other reason was we didn't want to go at the same time others would. Ever since I started living with Josh, I had started to feel a little bit better. But today, seeing Riley's grave... it brought so many emotions and thoughts back to my mind. The pain, the confusion... all of it came back as I looked at the marker that had Riley's name on it. I knew her body was buried just a few feet beneath us. I thought for a moment about how her body must look now, all rotted and ugly. But I shook my head. That decayed body down there wasn't Riley. She was a beautiful angel up in heaven now looking down on us.

I began to wonder if Riley was okay with me and Josh being a couple now. From the minute I showed interest in Josh, Riley showed great opposition at the idea of me one day becoming her aunt. I guess she doesn't have to worry about that anymore. Although I think if Riley were still with us, she'd find it amusing if I started teasing her dad (Mr. Matthews) about how I may one day become his sister in law. The thought made me laugh a bit. Josh looked at me and asked, "What's so funny?" I looked at Josh and said, "Just thinking of what silly stuff could be happening if Riley were still with us. Josh... Riley was once the most important person in my world. Do you think she'd be okay with the fact that now the most important person in my world is you?" Josh then hugged me and said, "Riley would want you to have all your dreams come true. And isn't us being together one of your dreams?" I nodded as I hugged Josh back.

My first semester in college continued without much incident. I was majoring in art, and was doing quite well in all my classes. Maybe I goofed off when I was younger so much because I knew Riley would pick up my slack and push me to be better. Now without her, I had to do it all myself. Living the domesticated life with Josh wasn't bad either. We ate breakfast and dinner together. We watched movies and kissed a lot. But we didn't sleep together or have sex. You see the one time we made love (after Riley's funeral) was the only time we did it. We both decided we weren't ready to do it again. But really... it was because I was a bit afraid. Despite how much me and Josh said we loved each other, I was worried about getting super close to him because... I was afraid that one day I'd lose him like I lost Riley. And the closer you are to someone, the more painful it is when you lose them.

Then one day I got a call saying Josh was in a car accident. I panicked and rushed to the hospital. I fear the worst. However he only slightly hurt his leg a bit and was only at the hospital to get checked out. Within a few hours, he was back at the apartment with me. As we snuggled together on the couch that evening I said, "Josh, when I got that call I was scarred to death that I was gonna lose you." Josh smiled and said, "But I'm still here. And I promise Maya, I will do everything in my power to never leave you for as long as I can." I then sat up and looked right into Josh's eyes as I said, "But the thing is... when I thought I'd almost lost you today... it made me realize... I would've not just missed out on us doing the things we always do together but... the things we _could_ have done together. And... I want to do those things now." A slightly confused Josh said, "Maya... what do you mean?" I then used my hands to pull Josh's shirt off his body. I touched his bare chest and said, "Josh... I'm ready to go all the way with you again... tonight, and for as often as you'd like from here on out."

TO BE CONTINUED...

*Author's Note - So how are you all enjoying this story now? Sorry it got a bit rough during the last few chapters. But I have a much more concrete sense of where this story is going now, and I really do hope you all enjoy where things go from here.


	6. Christmas Eve

It was a cold winter morning as I opened up my eyes in bed. Despite working heat in my apartment, I still felt a bit of a shiver. That may have been because I was completely naked with only a bed sheet covering my body. So to feel warmer, I turned my body on it's side and pressed it against a naked Josh who was laying next to me. Feeling my smooth skin against his, Josh awoke and looked at me. The two of us starred into the others' eyes as we smiled. We had been sleeping in the same bed together every night for two months now. And it involved making love to one another nearly every single night. Words cannot describe how amazing making love to Josh felt. Every time we did it, it was like our souls connected. Every time his member came into me, it was like my body had become complete; liking a missing piece to a puzzle had finally been found.

So as me and Josh continued to look at each other in bed, I said, "It's Saturday. Nowhere to go today. Anything special you have planned?" Josh smiled and said, "How about for once... we just lay in bed all day?" I made a smirk as I said, "Or maybe..." I then got up a bit and sat on top of Josh with my knees bent. I then looked down at my lover as I said, "Maybe we can play _Cow Girl_?" Josh looked up at me and smirked at me as he grabbed my buttocks hard with his hands, while I got into the proper position to _ride_ my boyfriend for the next hour.

That afternoon (after me and Josh had a record of seven straight hours of sex), I left the apartment all bundled up in order to visit someone. It was still cloudy and cold. The person I went to visit was Riley. Or rather her grave stone at the cemetery. You see, it was the day before Christmas. And since I was going to be busy on Christmas Day with so many people, I thought this would be the only alone time I could get with Riley for the holiday. When I got to the cemetery, I sat on the ground in front of Riley's grave and said, "Hey Riley. I guess since I'm gonna be busy this week, I figured this would be my only time to tell you Merry Christmas. So... Merry Christmas. It's okay if you didn't get me anything. You gave me the gift of a lifetime's worth of love growing up. I hope I'm living a life you're proud of. I'm finally getting straight A's in school. I volunteer most weekends doing projects that help the poor. And... I've finally found true love. With your uncle of course. You... you can't see us banging each other up in heaven can you? Oh man, that's a creepy thought. I... I guess it feels kind of weird. Life was supposed to not be good without you. But... for some reason... I feel happy. A part of me feels like I'm not allowed to be happy without you. And yet... I think you'd be okay with it. Riley... are you okay with me being happy now?" Suddenly I looked up and saw the clouds above me part. For the first time that day, the sun was shining brightly. I then made a big smile as I said, "Thanks Riley."

TO BE CONTINUED...

*Author's Note - Hope you all liked the chapter. What do you want to see more of in future chapters? Let me know through comments/messages. I will take any suggestions to heart. Although trust me when I say, I do have some very interesting ideas for what will be happening soon with this story.


	7. Shocking News

It was a Saturday morning in January. Me and Josh wook up in bed naked together. Although I had my eyes wide open, Josh's were still closed. Although I could telll he was really awake, and just wanted to have some fun. So I then got up on my knees and said, "Well, guess I'll do my morning stretches in bed." I then got on all fours in bed and stuck my butt up in the hair. However then a very awake Josh moved his arms and put his hands on my buttocks. I smiled as he did. Josh then stood on his knees and moved my butt down so it met where his manhood was. Josh then proceeded to pump his manhood between my butt cheeks as we both moaned at the pleasure that came from this. After a bit of that, I laid down on my back, and Josh got on top of me. I then wrapped my legs around his torso, as his hard member was then pushed deep into my womanhood. We did this for a while until he finally released his load. When we finished, Josh said, "Oh yeah. That was great. I love how you've wanted to do it in the morning every day this week Maya. Why the sudden change?" I was suddenly silent for a moment. I searched for an answer that would please him and then said, "Because I want you to remember me as the best girlfriend in the world... in case something really crazy happens."

A few hours later. I was up early talking a morning walk when I suddenly bumped into Topanga (Riley's mom). She immediately asked if I wanted to have coffee with her. To be polite, I accepted. I had seen Topanga from time to time over the last year, but the two of us really hadn't had much one on one time since Riley died. So early in our conversation, Topanga asked me how me and Josh were doing living together. I told her it was fine, but of course Topanga had to ask me why we weren't married yet. With an annoyed voice I said, "Mrs. Matthews, this is the same conversation I had with my mom and Shawn. We'll get married when we're ready." Topanga then gave me a look that showed she could see things in me even I couldn't. She then said, "Maya, you've been ready to marry Josh since you were in 7th grade. What's changed?"

I couldn't keep anything from Riley's mom. I then said, "I... I guess I'm just still afraid of fully committing to someone. I mean... how can I 100% commit to a relationship when that relationship might end at any given moment? What if Josh suddenly dies one day like Riley did? What if we have a big fight one day and he wants to break up? Not being married just makes the end of our relationship smoother." Topanga then said, "Maya, none of us know when our relationships with anyone will end. But we always have to give our all to anyone, wether they be our family, friends, and especially lovers. I may have lost my daughter, but what keeps me going is I have other people that still need me just as much as Riley did. And I have a feeling Josh needs you in his life, and you need him in yours. And it would only strengthen your relationship if both of you knew the other was definitely committed to being all in with the other." I looked down and sighed. Riley's mom was right. But she didn't understand the full story of what was currently going on in my mind.

That afternoon, I sat in front of Riley's grave and proceeded to talk to her again. Yes, I know this is becoming a recurring setup in this story; me talking to my dead friend beyond the grave. But I told Riley everything important in my life. And today I had to tell her some of the most important news. I looked at Riley's grave as I said, "Riley... I'm scared right now. And I wish I had you here with me right now to sort through what I'm feeling. I'm... I'm afraid of breaking up with Josh. I don't want it to happen. But I'm afraid it's going to happen because of what's about to unfold in our lives. I know unexpected things happen in life and that we should all just learn to adapt to them but... Oh God. We tried to be careful Riley. We really did. But things happen and... You're the first to hear me say this Riley. You had to be the first to know. Riley... I'm pregnant."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	8. Hope

I walked towards the apartment aching inside. I knew I had to tell Josh the news. I was pregnant. But I didn't know how I would tell him. How could this have happened? Well I know how it happened. When two people have sex nearly every day for weeks and weeks, even with the best protection, the odds say the girl is going to eventually get pregnant. It must've been that time we ran out of condoms. I told Josh it was okay and that he could just pull out early. Man, I am stupid. I had only known I was pregnant for a week now. A routine medical exam wound up turning into Earth shattering news. Oh God. Me and Josh weren't even done with college yet. How are we gonna able to deal with this financially? I was only a college freshman. My life felt like it was falling apart. And Josh. He wasn't ready to be a father. I had ruined his life as much as I had ruined mine. How was I supposed to tell him about this? But then it looked fate decided to take that responsibility off of me, when I walked into the apartment and the first thing Josh said to me was: "Maya. Your doctor called saying the tests came back and that you and the baby were completely healthy." I froze. Whatever happened in the next moment was going to impact probrably the rest of my life. Josh suddenly embraced me in his arms as he said, "You could have told me as soon as you knew Maya. No matter what, I will always love you."

A little while later, me and Josh took a relaxing bubble bath together. Josh felt my stomach a bit with his hands as he said, "How long?" I then said, "I've known for a week. But the doctor says I'm about four weeks in." Josh then said, "Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I was going to get angry and leave you?" I sighed and said, "Josh, I'm sorry. It's just... I've been an emotional mess since Riley died. Jumping to the wrong conclusions and having trouble opening up to people. I mean even though I've learned to enjoy life again, and especially enjoy my time with you... I guess I... I just expect people to leave me now. Once Riley was dead, the world just went from being concrete to cardboard. Anyone I know could leave me at any point. If not through death, then just for some other reason." Josh then said, "Maya... did you really think I would leave you because of this?"

I then cuddled up closer to Josh, my naked body curled up next to his. I then said, "No. I just thought the universe didn't want me to be happy anymore. You know when I was little, my favorite TV show to watch was that PBS Kids show called Zoom. Remember that show? It was just about regular kids playing games and having fun with their friends. I remembering watching those kids hang out and play with each other, and I so desperately wished I could have been their friend. I thought that would've made my life happy. But it seemed like the world didn't want me to be happy. I never lived in any neighborhoods or apartments with kids my age, so I had no friends growing up. That made me sad. Then my dad left my family and that made me sad. My mom wound up having to work all day and I never got any time with her. That made me sad. I had to change schools and apartments twice when I was young, and that me sad. The only good thing in my life was Riley. Despite making other friends after her, I made them all _through_ her. Riley was my gateway to happiness. And I never took her for granted. But a part of me always felt like I never deserved the happiness she gave me. Like it was some glitch in the universe, and in reality: I was supposed to experience only sadness. And only through her dying, did that glitch get fixed. And even though I'm happy with you, I feared that maybe there's a chance we're just another glitch in the universe, and maybe we're..." Josh then cut me off and said, "Maya. What we have isn't a glitch. It's real. And I will do everything in my power to make sure the universe never tears us apart. Because I want you more than anything Maya. I... I want to marry you." With a shocked face I said, "Josh. Are you serious?" Josh nodded and said, "I am. I was only postponning asking you because you didn't seem ready but... no more waiting. Maya... will you marry me?" Tears appeared in my eyes as I said, "Yes Josh. Of course I will marry you!" I immediately kissed and hugged the man of my life.

Eight months later, the day of delivery came. My daughter was born. As I held this little bundle of joy in my arms, my whole perspective on life changed. I no longer saw death and loss as the biggest constant in the universe. Rather I saw birth, new beginnings, and growth as the biggest constants instead. There would still be many obstacles to overcome of course. But I had learned from my late friend: Riley Matthews an important lesson. Good things aren't just glitches in the universe. They really can happen to anyone. This thought stay at the top of my mind as my husband Josh sat next to me and asked, "So we still don't have a name yet. You have one in mind?" I smiled as I nodded and said, "I do. And you really are okay with accepting any name I come up with?" Josh nodded as he said, "Yeah. And to be clear, I have no problem with you naming our daughter Riley if that's what you want." I turned my head and said, "No. I'm not gonna name our daughter after my best friend. Rather I'm gonna name her after one of the most important lessons my best friend taught me. We shall call her Hope. Welcome to the world Hope Hunter Matthews."

THE END (FOR NOW)


	9. The Genius Child

They say motherhood changes you. And you know what? They're right. When Hope was born, my whole world changed. I suddenly had this little person that needed me, and despite all the crying at night and messes she made, I loved Hope unconditionally. Despite being a baby, she reminded me of Riley already. Maybe it was because she had the Matthews genes. She was after all, technically Riley's cousin. But every day, I tried to shower her with just as much love as I did with Riley; even more so. It's strange. When you love your best friend, there's obviously give and take. But when you love your own child, it's nothing but give without any expectation of anything being given in return. Maybe that's why God had us all start out life as defenseless little people. So that everyone else would be forced to practice the concept of unconditional love to another human being, in hopes they would give a little of that unconditional love as well to other people they meet in their lives as well.

Of course Josh gave me nothing by unconditional love in the early years of our marriage. He luckily graduated from college and got a job right before Hope was born. But in order to make just enough money, he had to work just about all day every day. I wanted to work too, but Josh insisted I finish college. So I continued with my studies but slowly. We couldn't afford babysitters or child care, so we had to depend on the charity of our friends and family. But the majority of the time, it was just me and Hope at home. There would be times where I'd be tempted to just put Hope in front of toys or one of those dumb kidsploitation channels on cable. But Josh was sacrificing too much for me and Hope, so I felt it was extremely important that I had to work hard too. So I read books to Hope a lot. I took her outside to see the world as much as possible. I explained things as we saw them. I was never certain how much Hope was comprehending, but even as an infant, I refused to talk down to my daughter.

I introduced Hope to books at a young age, and read to her as much as possible. Many of her first words were attempts to repeat back full sentences I said as I read books to her. Eventually Hope was finishing sentences in books I was reading to her before I could say them. We practiced counting a lot too. It was like a fun game we played. I even got her an early level math book and had her practice adding numbers together. I was trying to get Hope to learn more because I didn't want hr to ever struggle and be behind her peers. It turns out though that the opposite was going on.

During Hope's first week of kindergarten in public schools, I was called to meet with Hope's teacher and principal. I was so worried about what the conversation was going to be. But it turns out Hope's teacher and principal had good news to share. Hope was identified as a gifted genius. She had above average mathematical, linguistic, writing, and logical problem solving skills. I was in tears when I heard the news. My daughter was a gifted genius. She was going to grow up and have a much better life than me now guaranteed. I couldn't have been more proud. But then they recommended that Hope enroll in a gifted and talented school on the other side of the state. I was told it would be expensive but there could be scholarship options. I suddenly became unsure of what to do next. So I decided to ask for advice from the only two adult geniuses I knew.

I met the next day with my old school mates: Farkle and Smackle. They were married now, and we hadn't talked much in recent years. But they were excited to talk when I told them about Hope being designated as a genius. After telling them the full story in person at their apartment, I then asked: "So I have to ask you two... What do I do? Do I try to put Hope in a gifted and talented school? Or do I keep her in the public school? I'm just not certain anymore." Farkle then said, "Well anything that happens to Hope in the end is up to you and Josh. But you should be aware there are pros and cons to either choice you make." Smackle then said, "In a gifted and talented school, Hope will learn a great deal and it will open up opportunities for her to have an excellent career one day. But..." Being curious, I interrupted Smackle and said, "But what? Give it to me straight guys." Farkle then said, "But there is one problem with a gifted and talented school environment. Smackle experienced it growing up, and it's the reason why my own parents sent me to public schools instead of private ones growing up." Smackle then said, "Gifted and talented schools for the most part focus on people making great achievements for themselves and their immediate peers. But not the world at large. Many people that come from those schools do grow up to be great scientists, lawyers, and law makers. But they also grow up to _only be friends_ _with_ and help out: fellow scientists, lawyers, and law makers." Farkle then said, "Both me and my dad may having been geniuses growing up in public school environments helped us see people of different income levels, backgrounds, and nationalities right up close. By seeing his fellow classmates' families struggle to get by on so little in life, it inspired my dad to sponsor more charities than your average scientist." Smackle then said, "When I first visited Farkle at the middle school you both went to long ago, it was the first time I saw reality. Gifted and talented schools help you see the future, but regular schools help you see the present." Then Maya said, "So what? You both saying Hope should go to public schools then?" Farkle then said, "Well there's cons to that too. Public schools are often under funded, there's not enough teachers, and can be more dangerous because there's not enough teachers at times watching what's going on." Then Smackle said, "And starting life early on at a gifted and talented school could open up a lot more doors for Hope so that one day: she gets a job where she makes a lot of money. And I mean a lot of money. But she could still succeed starting out in the public school system. I mean we did... but it's still gonna be hard." I eventually left Farkle and Smackle's apartment with a lot to think about.

The next day, I took Hope to the cemetery. Yes, I know that's not the best place to take a kindergarten age girl. But I had to make a decision about my daughter's future, and I wanted my best friend there near me when I made it. I sat on the grass near Riley's grave with Hope in my lap. I looked at my bright little girl and said, "Hope. Do you remember what your name means to me?" Hope then said, "You named me after what your best friend Riley taught you. That good things can happen to anyone." I smiled and said, "Yeah. But something else Riley taught me was it's important to do good things for others. Me and your dad have a choice to make Hope. We can send you to a school where you can learn a lot and be friends with other kids who know a lot too. Or we can send you to school where some kids have a lot, and some have a little." Hope then said, "Mommy. You said you had very little when you were a kid and Riley had a lot." I then said, "Well compared to me she had a lot." Hope then said, "Well I'm glad Riley went to regular school, so she could meet you and give you a lot of help mommy." Tears started to appear in my eyes. Hope was right. My daughter was a genius. Riley's mom who is a lawyer could've easily sent her daughter to some rich private school. But both Riley and her dad wanted to be a central part of the _entire_ community; not just the rich and prestigious part of it. I had already decided it in my mind now. I looked at Hope and said, "Hope. I am going to get you plenty of tutors who will continue to help you grow in your skills. But you are going to public school. So maybe you can help out less fortunate friends you meet... just like Riley did for me."

TO BE CONTINUED...

* _Author's Note - Hope you all liked this chapter. Tried a different kind of story for this chapter. Next time, we'll have a little more comedy, and some crazy situations to mix things up._


	10. The Awkward Talk

It was supposed to be just a fun night. Nothing that life changing. Josh worked so much during the week to provide for me and Hope. The two of us truly never got enough time together. So we always made sure to make the most of any time we had with the other. Especially time we had _alone_. Josh had been able to get off work early one afternoon. Hope had just gotten a bunch of new science books from the library and whenever that happened, she stayed glued to them in her room for hours. So me and Josh decided that this was the perfect time to have some _fun_. As soon as we got into our bedroom, we instantly took all of our clothes off. We immediately got onto the bed and began to kiss as we wrapped our arms around each other. Josh then began to kiss my neck as I began to moan out loud. Then Josh proceeded to kiss my breasts and then moved his mouth and more specifically his tongue to my womanhood. I moaned more as I felt so pleasured. Then Josh laid down as I got on top of him and began to ride my man hard. Josh clenched my buttocks tightly as I dug my hands into his shoulders. Josh pushed his manhood deep into my hard. It was so large and felt so good inside me. He began to pump his member harder and harder into me. I began to say, "Oh Josh. I love you. I love you. I love you."

But then the mood was suddenly interrupted by the sound of Hope saying, "Mommy? Daddy?" I froze. Oh God. We forgot to lock the door. Me and Josh turned our heads and there she was. Our daughter Hope standing at the doorway seeing her parents having sex. How long had she been standing there? How much had she seen? Oh God, we probably screwed our daughter's mind for life. But even though Hope was seven years old now, she was still young enough to perhaps be fooled. I then smiled and said, "Um... daddy and I are just playing a game that grown ups that love each other a lot do. Please go to your room." Hope then left the room and closed the door. I hit my head as I said out loud to Josh, "Oh God. We've scarred her for life. Our genius daughter has now been warped forever." Josh then sat up as he put his arm around me and said, "Look. She was probably tired. She usually never comes into our room unannounced. Probably wasn't thinking straight. Probably will forget this by tomorrow. But... maybe you should check on her to be careful." I nodded my head, got dressed, and prepared for the impossible task of motherhood.

As I slowly got dressed and then headed towards Hope's room, so many things went through my head. Was I about to have _the talk_ with Hope. She was only seven years old. Although to be fair, I knew about sex at seven years old. Back when I was seven, I was able to pull a cord from through the wall from the neighbor's apartment, hook it into a small TV I had in my room, and got the premium cable channels. Including the _mature_ stuff. Yeah, I was exposed to adult films and TV shows at a young age. The one I watched the most was _Co-Ed Confidential_ on _Cinemax_. That series was the one that made me try out self pleasure at a young age. I guess for all intents and purposes I should've been really screwed up at that point. But strangely enough all those adult films gave me a sense of confidence. Like I knew stuff the other kids at school didn't, so it made me feel real grown up. It definitely made me feel like I was more _mature_ than Riley for years. I remember when we were ten, we were hanging out in the park and wandered into the more dense area of the woods. There we saw two teenagers having sex. Like full on sweaty bodies in the grass sex. Riley asked me what those two teenagers were doing. So I destroyed my best friends' innocence and told her about where babies came from and what the man and the woman do to make those babies come to being. Of course after explaining it all, Riley still asked, "But if they were having sex, then does that mean they were married? Because they looked a little too young for that." I hit my face as I heard Riley say that. She was indeed an innocent little angel. And that's how I wanted my daughter to grow up. Innocent of the darker corners of life. But now I probably had to expose those dark corners to my daughter now. Oh God. I was about to have _the talk_ with Hope. Oh God, it was so easy with Riley. But... this is my daughter. She's supposed to be my little baby. Not learning about what sex is.

I slowly opened the door to Hope's bedroom. As soon as I stepped in, I saw something that shocked my eyes. My seven year old girl was naked and she was sitting on her large stuffed bear essentially humping it as she said, "Oh Mr. Bear. I love you. I love you. I love you." With wide eyes I said, "Hope! What are you doing!?" Hope then got up and looked at me as she said, "I'm just playing house with my bear. We were playing the game that grown ups that love each other a lot do. And it feels good mommy." Oh God, I really had screwed up my daughter for life. I then asked Hope to put a night gown on and then we sat in her bedroom together. Oh God, I was able to have _the talk_ with my daughter. I then said, "Hope. What me and your dad were doing... it's something that only mommies and daddies can do together when they really love each other. It's not for little girls or boys to play. Even if it's for pretend." A curious Hope then said, "Why?" I sighed and said, "Because what me and your daddy were doing... that's how babies are made." Hope then asked, "But how does that work?" Oh God, my daughter was getting sexually curious. But I had to answer that question now. If she didn't get an answer from me, she'd get it from some other place and I couldn't have that. I sighed and said, "When a daddy really loves a mommy and gets really excited about being with her, he takes his private part out his underwear and pushes it inside of the private part mommy usually hides in her underwear." Hope then asked, "So daddy pees inside you?" I suddenly began to laugh a bit as for some reason, some of the tension from this situation was starting to die down. I then said, "No. The daddy shoots a different liquid into the mommy. A special liquid that comes into the mommy and becomes a seed. So that when combined with the eggs a mommy has inside of her, it causes a baby to start growing in the mommy." Hope then said, "Oh. So are you going to have another baby then?" I smiled a bit as I said, "No. Not anytime soon anyway." Hope then said, "But if you two don't want another baby, why were you doing the thing that makes babies?" I suddenly felt my face turn red as I said, "Well if the mommy and daddy are careful and play things out just a little differently, they can still do the same things mommies and daddies do to have babies, without actually having a baby." A curious Hope then said, "But why would you act like you were making a baby, if you don't want another?" I then made a little smile as I said, "Because it makes us feel really good inside. I love your father so much Hope, and it's a private way we show the other how much we love each other. But there's still a chance we could have a baby if we do what you saw us do. It could happen to a big girl too if they try that with a boy. So what you saw us do: it's something only mommies and daddies do. Got it?" Hope smiled and said, "Got it." I gave my daughter a little hug. I then walked out of her room and closed the door. I fell to the ground and sighed. That was the most awkward conversation in my entire life. But then I imagined what would happen if I told Riley the entire story of what went down. She'd probably just laugh. And then... I decided to start laughing too.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	11. I Finally Did It

I had been a mother for ten years now. Now lets be straight here. Being a mom to Hope was the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life. It was the most important thing that I was doing with my life. But I wasn't doing too well with everything else. It literally took me eight years to finally graduate from college (mostly because I was busy being a mother and having limited funds). I was nowhere near the top of my class, so I knew I had to develop some real experience under my belt to get real work. I still had dreams of being an artist. Riley believed I could be an amazing at it one day and somehow use it to change the world. So I had to keep trying. I submitted works for art shows/ art contests. I built up a portfolio and submitted to magazines and comic companies. But I was unable to find any steady work.

To stay busy though, I began to volunteer to teach art classes to kids after school at the nearby community center. It honestly started out as me just doing fun art activities with Hope and friends she'd bring over from school. But eventually, word got around that my art classes were very enjoyable. So more kids of all ages came. Some of the kids were just interested in art. Others were kids came from low income families that had nothing else to do during the day. But through art activities I gave them, they found productive things to do. But then hard news came one day that due to budget cuts, the city was closing down the community center.

The news had me feeling a bit down. I wanted to find some way to save the community center and went to all of my friends and family for ideas. I found no help though until me and Josh one night were having dinner with Riley's parents: Cory and Topanga. As we talked I asked, "Is there any way we can allocate funds in the city government so that we can keep the community center open?" Cory then said, "Sorry Maya but nowadays you can't increase city funds anywhere without cutting something else out." We all sat silent for a bit. But then Topanga said, "Well you may not be able to get more funds from the government. But what if the community center became a different type of establishment that could get funding from other sources." A curious Josh said, "What do you mean?" Topanga then said, "Well I've read of community sport leagues that get grants from sports organizations in order to build up their new programs. But what if someone had a newly developed art program that they could guarantee would help inner-city kids? If the leader of the program had already proven to be an influential leader in the community, that program could potentially get plenty of grant money from art organizations I've worked with through my law firm. Enough grant money to fund new programs _and_ maintain building costs." Suddenly it all came together. My hopes, my dreams, my future. They all seemed to come into place. I then asked, "Mrs. Matthews, do you really think we can make that happen?" Topanga smiled as she said, "I'll make the calls. You just be ready to show you're willing to do the rest of the work when we get this thing off the ground."

As the months passed, our plan went into action. We were able to get a grant from a generous donor to buy the community center, and re-purpose it as an all ages art school. During the day, it would provide classes and work spaces for adults to work on their own art projects. Then after school and during the summer, the building would be used as a location for all children in the community to take classes, make friends, and find their identities in creative expression. And yours truly was the commander in chief of it all. So when the day of our grand opening came, we didn't have any special celebrations or anything... at least not in the morning. I actually started the day by myself, as I single handedly hung up a plaque on the outside wall that showed off the building's new name. I took a step back and read it: _The Riley Matthews School of Art_. I smiled as I looked at it. Then I looked up at the sky and said, "I did it Riley. I finally did it."

THE END (FOR NOW)


	12. Hope and Grace

My life finally felt like it had fallen into place. Business at the art school was always good, I always got an appropriate amount of time to enjoy life with Josh every week, and finally: I just felt completely happy. Everything felt perfect... and then Hope became a teenager. And now: my life was full of madness again. Oh, Hope still followed the rules and did well in school. But now she wanted to spend less time with me and Josh, she wanted to buy her own clothes, and she wanted a whole lot more privacy. I mean I used to brush my teeth when Hope was in the shower every morning. But one day when I came into the bathroom, Hope was just getting out of the shower completely naked. Upon seeing me she yelled, "Mom! Get out!" Wondering if anything was wrong, I quickly had my eyes scan over Hope as I said, "What's wrong? Wait. Hope, are your breasts finally starting to grow? You know we can go bra shopping this weekend if you want to..." Hope then yelled, "Get out!" Hope then pushed me out of the bathroom and slammed the door. Yes, it was true. My daughter was going through puberty and for the first time in my life, she wanted to have nothing to do with me.

I thought it was _just_ teenage hormones that were getting Hope so cranky. Then one day at the art school, Hope was talking to some of her friends in one of the work rooms. I was looking in through a window where I could see and just barely hear Hope and her friends talking. I could see her but she couldn't see me. I'm a mom that likes to check in and see where her kid is really doing, okay? That's who I am. Suddenly one of Hope's friends named Grace walked into the room. She approached Grace and said, "Hey Grace. The school dance is in two weeks, and we need some more volunteers to help set up. You mind coming in early Friday afternoon that week to do me another awesome favor?" Hope's face suddenly became a little red as she said, "Oh, um, sure. I love you, I mean I'd love to assist you. I'll be there pretty... pretty quick. I'll be there pretty quick. Yeah. See you then." Grace smiled as she said, "Okay. Thanks." Grace then walked away as I smiled and finally realized what was going on.

That evening, I knocked on Hope's door. I heard Hope say, "Who is it?" I replied by saying, "It's mom. Can I come in?" Hope then said, "Sure." I walked into Hope's room to see her working on her homework at a desk. I sat on Hope's bed and said, "How was your day sweety?" With a simple expression and voice Hope said, "Fine." I then said, "So are you going to the school dance in two weeks?" Hope keeping a calm voice said, "Yeah." With a simple calm voice I then said, "You going with anyone in particular?" Hope then said, "No." Then I coyly said, "Because you want to keep yourself open for Grace hoping she asks you." With wide eyes, Hope looked right at me as she said, "What!? I... I don't know what... Just... How did... Why would..." I interrupted my daughter and said, "Hope, I know because I'm your mother. I know you. Plus, you have the Matthews genes of neurotic silly clumsiness. It may not have affected your father, but by God: I swear you are so much like Riley was when she first experienced romantic feelings at a young age." A caught off guard Hope then said, "I'm not experiencing romantic feelings for Grace. I just... I just..." I smiled as I said, "Think about her every day? Have thoughts about her that interrupt your daily thinking routine? Feel your heart beat harder ever time she's with you or when you simply think about her?" Hope then tried to cover her ears as she said, "I'm not hearing this. I'm not hearing this." Then with a simple expression I said, "Okay. We don't have to talk about this. I'll leave. But if you want, I was thinking about going dress shopping. You can come with me and I'll buy a new dress you can wear for the dance if you want." Hope sat still as I slowly began to leave the room. Then right before I left, Hope jumped up and said, "Okay. I'll come with you."

Later, me and Hope spent over two hours at the mall dress shopping. At one point, Hope came out of the dressing room wearing a long sleeveless blue dress. I smiled as I looked at Hope and said, "It's great honey. Everyone is gonna think you look stunning in that." An excited Hope said, "Really? You think Grace will like it... I mean, you really think everyone will like Grace if... I mean do you think everyone will Grace at me and... Oh God." Hope sat down on a chair looking troubled. I sat next to Hope and put an arm around her as I said, "What's wrong Hope?" Hope finally looked at me with a face of desperation as she said, "Mom, I am so scared right now. I mean... I like Grace. I mean... I like her, like her. I mean... the two of us have been friends since second grade. She doesn't have grades as good as mine but... she is so brave. I mean do you know how we met? Some bullies were picking on some other kids on the playground. I was trying to defend them, but didn't know how. But then Grace appeared, and told the bullies to stop copying what the bullies on those dumb Nickelodeon shows do. She even called out the shows the bullies were copying their routine from, causing everyone to laugh. We were like a great team mom. I had the brain smarts, and she had the street smarts. Together we were an unstoppable team. But then these... feelings started building up in me. And now I'm..." I held Hope near me as I said, "Now you're worried that if you say the wrong thing, you'll break up the unstoppable team." Hope nodded. Then I said, "Well Hope... it's time for you to discover if the unstoppable team really is unstoppable. If you two do have a friendship that's strong, no awkward questions are going to break it." Hope smiled and hugged me as she said, "Thanks mom." I hugged Hope back. It was good to know I helped my daughter feel better. Although there was a selfish part of me that was secretly saying inside: _"Score! I'm still a relevant parent! She still needs me! YEAH!"_

Two weeks later, the school dance came. I was a chaperone. I of course gave Hope some space, but I knew exactly how to stay close enough so that she couldn't see me but I could see her. At one point I saw Hope take Grace's hand, and the two started to dance on the dance floor together. I then heard Grace say, "Thanks for helping make this all happen Hope. You are the best friend ever." Hope then said, "Thanks Grace. I'd do anything for you because... I like you Grace. I mean... I really, really like you Grace. I mean... I like you, like you." Grace then said, "Oh. Really?" Hope nodded and said, "Yeah. Do... do you like me, like me too?" Grace then said, "I... no." Hope looked shocked for a moment. But then her face turned into a smile as she said, "Liar." Grace smiled too as she said, "Yeah. Just wanted to see if you really did know me that well. I like you too Hope." Then it happened. Hope and Grace moved their faces together and kissed. It was the cutest and sweetest thing I ever saw. I then decided to turn my head away and let the rest of that moment just be their moment. But it did feel good to witness what I just saw. I guess a parent really can share in their kids' happiness.

THE END (FOR NOW)


	13. The Development Issue

My daughter Hope finally had a girlfriend. It was strange to think of my little girl already dating someone, but she was happy, and so was I. Hope had both her academic and social life all together now, so it felt like parenting was going to be a breeze now. And for about a year, it was. But then Hope started to come home a little bit cranky every day. I asked her if everything was okay with school and if everything was okay with Grace. Hope would angerly say everything was just fine with school and Grace. I believed Hope, but knew there was something else bothering her. I just didn't know what.

Then one Sunday afternoon I walked into Hope's bedroom while she was showering in the bathroom. Being the curious mom I am, I walked over to Hope's iPad that was on and looked at the last web page she was on. Instantly I saw the headline of an article that said: _Ways to Increase Breast Size_. Just as I began to look at the article, Hope walked into the room wearing only a towel around her body. As Hope saw what i was doing she said, "MOM! What are you doing!?" Hope instantly grabbed the iPad out of my hands and looked horrified as she realized what I had just seen. Hope's face got red as she said, "Why did... Just get out! Get out!" Hope then pushed me out of her room and slammed the door. I stood at the door silent. I wasn't mad at my daughter. I had already connected the pieces together in my head and realized what was wrong.

An hour later, I knocked on the door to Hope's room and said, "Hope, it's mom. Can I come in?" I heard nothing. So I slowly opened the door and saw Hope lying in her bed. She was still wearing a towel and was now crying. I sat next to Hope and said, "What's bothering you baby?" Hope then angerly said, "Nothing around me is bothering me mom." I sighed and said, "Nothing _around you_ is bothering you. But it seems like your own body may be the problem." Hope then sat up as she said, "What do you mean?" I looked right at my daughter as I said, "You're worried about your breast size aren't you?" A flustered Hope said, "No. That's... I... ugg. What does... Errrg. I... Ugg. How did you know?" I smiled and said, "It doesn't take a super detective to realize it. Plus, I'm your mom. The one thing I don't understand is: _why_ you're worried about your breast size?"

Hope sighed and said, "Well you know... girls in the locker room at school... we look at each other and... well it just feels like more and more girls have great looking boobs now and I'm just barely beyond some small little hills on my chest." I then curiously said, "Is the problem that a lot of _other girls_ have more developed breasts now, or is it that _Grace_ has much more developed breasts now?" Hope's face turned red as she tried to turn away from me. I put an arm around Hope and said, "Sorry I had to point it out, but I notice these things too. Hope, you and Grace are two different people. Different people develop at different rates." An upset looking Hope said, "But every time I look at her mom, I'm reminded she's ahead of me. She's got these amazing boobs, perfect shaped butt that sticks out, and great hips that don't lie. Meanwhile I'm a practically flat chest, flat butt, and skinny little thing. She's a full fledged woman now, and I still look like a girl. And... what if this is it for me? What if this is what my chest is gonna look like for the rest of my life? Mom, you told me that you stopped growing at 14. What if I stop growing completely now too? Do you really think Grace is gonna stay interested in an undeveloped girl for the rest of her life?"

I sighed as my own memories of my early teenage years came back to me. I then said, "Hope, I understand. It really threw for me a loop when I realized I was probably done growing. I remember when Riley started to shoot up in height before me. But despite one incident happening due to it, we still loved each other. You know why? Because no matter how the other looked, we were always going to be friends. Tell me. Did Grace fall in love with you because of how you looked? Do your father and me love because of how you look? What about your grandparents, Uncle Auggie, Uncle Eric, Auggie, Farkle, Smackle? Do they love you because of how you look? No. They've cared for you through all of changes you've been through since you were a baby. And despite whatever changes happen in the future, or lack thereof, we will always still care for you. And if Grace truly does love you, then she'll still care for you no matter how you look. And besides, there is one advantage of having a flat chest." A curious Hope then said, "What's that?" I smirked and said, "There's less in the way for when you give someone a hug." Hope then finally smiled and hugged me as she said, "Thanks mom." I hugged Hope back as I said, "You're welcome sweety." Hope then said, "You really think I'm gonna turn out okay?" I smiled as I said, "Trust me. You will. You may have my hair, but everything else about you is so much like Riley. She wound up turning into a beautiful woman, and I know you will too."

THE END (FOR NOW)

 _*Author's Note - Next chapter, we finally address a few things several people have been asking me to address in this series. Although things may not end up the way you think. Also, if anyone out there wants to draw/create a picture of adult Maya and Hope, I am totally cool with anyone doing so. No permission needed, just credit me for my stories. Message me if you create anything derived from what I've written because I would be very interested to see._


	14. Who is Maya to Maya?

It was Hope's senior year of high school, and I was frantically trying to do all I could to help her get ready for adulthood. But the thing is... Hope didn't need me that much anymore. She had applied to college and got in on her own, and she had a scholarship. I tried helping her pick a dress for Homecoming like we did before every dance, but this time around she bought the dress while shopping with Grace. I just wasn't needed as much anymore. Even at work, I had trained my staff to run the art school well. So well, I didn't need to do that much on most normal days. The world was getting along fine without me... and it felt very strange.

So one night as me and Josh were getting ready for bed, I came into the bedroom wearing my new skimpy Femme brand lingere. Josh definitely looked excited as he said, "Nice surprise honey. Just give me a sec to find my condoms and..." I then jumped on the bed on all fours as I said, "No condoms Josh. I... I want another baby. I want one now!" Josh then sat up and made me sit up too as he said, "Maya, what's this all about?" I then simply said, "I want another baby. So lets make love now." Josh then said, "I am totally down for making love. But why do you want another baby?" I then said, "Well... Hope is getting so grown up now and I miss having a kid to love. And everyone I lead at work is so self sufficient now, I... I..." Josh put an arm around me as he said, "And you miss having people around who need you. You miss having people who live on needing you help." I sighed as the realization hit me and nodded.

Me and Josh then laid down in bed together as Josh said, "Look, it's not that having another kid wold be bad. But when you have a choice in the matter, you have to ask: why do you want what you're asking for? Maya, your entire adult life, you've defined your very identity to helping raise Hope, helping those at the art school, and of course helping me. You've been an amazing mother, teacher, and wife to us. But who is Maya Matthews to Maya Matthews?" I sat silent for a moment. Josh then held me close as he said, "I'm sorry if I'm being to brutal with you honey. But you've done so much for our family, Maybe the time has come where you need to do something for yourself."

I took what Josh had said to heart. Nearly my entire adult life had been filled with work, mother/daughter outings, and making meals for my husband, that I had forgotten to do anything for me. So I began to take a few advanced art classes at New York University to both further my talents and meet new potential artist friends. Then after Hope graduated high school, I finally took my first vacation outside the country to Paris, France. There I saw the most amazing art galleries and even got my dream come true of sitting in a little French cafe and sipping coffee while looking at the sun set. It was my childhood dream come true exactly as I wished it would happen. Well there was one thing missing to make it exactly like my childhood dream come true. But I wasn't going to complain. I then took out a framed picture of Riley I had and set it on the table next to me. As I watched the sun set, I said, "Sure is a pretty sun set. Wouldn't you agree Riley?"

THE END (FOR NOW)


	15. The Worst Phone Call

It was supposed to be the first day of me and Josh's two week beach vacation. We were packed and ready to go, and that's when the phone rang. The worst phone call I ever recieved. It was Grace. She called to tell us that Hope had been raped. I nearly lost all sanity when I heard the news. I couldn't think straight. Me and Josh in that moment could only think about getting into our car and driving straight to the college dorm where Hope and Grace lived. On the way we got more details on the phone. While spending an evening at a lake, Hope who was alone got cornered by this guy who forced her into sex. After it was over, a hurt Hope reported it all to the police. Fortnately the whole act was caught on a security camera. The guy was arrested within hours and had no hope of getting out of prison with all the evidence stacked up. So Hope was no longer in danger. But that didn't mean her pain was gone.

Me, Josh, and Grace spent the first day just sitting with Hope in her dorm. Hope didn't eat anything. She just laid with her head on my lap crying. Over the next two weeks: me, Josh, and Grace all took turns being with Hope. Josh read books to her. Grace fed her food. But with me, we just talked. At one point, Hope seemed angry as she said, "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been alone there. And I shouldn't have been wearing such a revealing top and thong. I mean what does any girl think is gonna happen if she walks around with her butt in plain view for all to check out? I just wanted to look attractive. But that just attracted trouble. And why did I have to be cursed with such a petite body? I still look 15. Guy probrably got a thrill out of doing it with what he thought was an underage girl. Why am I so messed up?" I then hugged Hope as I said, "You are not messed up Hope. You are still my perfect daughter. What that man did to you was take advantage of a good girl, because he was too weak inside to be a strong moral person. You are better than him Hope. You are so much better."

Slowly as the days went on after that, Hope felt better. After two weeks, Hope went back to her normal daily routine. But then another two weeks later, Hope called us with another shocking phone call. She was pregnant. The guy who raped her also wound up getting her pregnant. Me and Josh again found ourselves with Hope and Grace in their dorm room. We all had words of sympathy for Hope, but no words of advice. Mostly because we weren't sure of what to reccomend. Finally, I simply asked, "Have you thought about what you're going to do?" Hooe then said, "I have. I've thought a lot. The way this happened sickenens me. And a part of me wishes I could just get rid of or give away this baby so I could try to forget this all happened. But... it did happen. Nothing will change that. And what is growing in me... it's a part of me. This is my child and... I'm going to keep this baby and raise it. No matter how crazy or complicated it gets." Hope then looked at Grace and said, "I'm sorry Grace. I know this isn't what you signed up for when you became my girlfriend but.." Grace then cut Hope off and said, "Hope, I love you. Every part of you. Which includes your child now. I'm not entirely sure what this means for us far in the future. But as of right now, I've got you babe." Tears began to appear in Hope's eyes. Then Hope and Grace hugged each other causing us all to finally smile.

Eight months later, Hope's baby was born. It was a girl. A little brown haired ball of miracle. I stood next to Hope as I watched her hold her newborn close. This newborn who was my granddaughter. Yes, I was a grandmother now. It was strange. But it actually felt moreso: rewarding inside to see my daughter behaving like a trully responsible and loving parent. I then asked, "So what did you decide to name her?" Hope smiled as she said, "Well since you named me after the most important lesson your best friend taught you; a lesson that's really helped me out a lot these past few months, I thought we'd name her after your best friend. Mom... meet Riley Hart Matthews." I smiled as I looked down at little Riley and said, "It's a good name."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Author's Note - Oh yes, this story shall continue. There is plenty more to tell in the chapters to come.


	16. I Forgive You

It took awhile but the day had finally come when Hope had finally graduated from college. It made me a proud mother to see her so successful now. She was able to finish college in just four years, even after little Riley was born during her sophmore year. Of course Hope had plenty of help. I found myself watching over little Riley every morning, while Grace helped out in the afternoon. Not that I wouldn't have helped out more. Little Riley reminded me so much of her namesake. A smiling bundle of joy that had a big imagination and an even bigger heart. After graduating, Hope and Grace got an apartment together which meant they were now living together full time. Grace loved little Riley so much, only rivaled by her love for Hope. I thought things were finally going right for them.

But then one day, Grace came to visit me alone for one of the most ackward conversations ever. It started with Grace saying, "So Mrs. Matthews... this is hard to say, but um... I came to talk to you because... Hope hasn't wanted to get... intimate with me since we moved in together." With a caught off guard tone I said, "Intimate with you? You mean..." Grace then said, "Physically intimate. You know... in bed... with clothes off... and..." I cut Grace off and said, "No more detail needs to be said. So um... have you and her already been..." Grace cut me off and said, "No. We've never... you know... gone all the way with each other. Hope said she wanted to wait until she graduated from college. But since we got our own apartment, we started sleeping in the same bed for the first time. And well... being closer than ever, sometimes I just... you know... touch her in a few private areas. Not to go all the way. Just to give us some fun and..." I cut off Grace and said, "I get it. But why are you telling me this information?" Grace then said, "Every time I start to touch Hope, she freaks out. Like she's about to be attacked. Mrs. Matthews... I think Hope is afraid of being physically intimate because... well you can probrably guess why." I then said, "Have you two talked about when Hope was raped in the last two years?" Grace turned her head and said, "Not since Riley was born. She kind of brushes it off when I start to even mention it. Like she doesn't want to act like it happened. But it did happen though. Seeing Riley every day should remind her of that." I then said, "And I'm betting it does. Hmm..."

A few days later, I sat down with Hope to talk with her at my place. I explained to Hope everything Grace had said to me, and that we were both concerned for her. Then I said, "Hope, it's okay if you're still hurting inside." Hope then said, "Mom, I'm through feeling hurt. I'm busy with being a mother now. Riley needs my full attention now. I have to focus on what's best for her." I then said, "It's noble that you think so much of who you are to others Hope. But you need to think about yourself every once in awhile too. To be honest, it's something that took me a long time to learn as well. But to be honest, it's not good for others around you if you haven't sorted out the grief that you are still dealing with." Looking slightly upset, Hope said, "You thinking I haven't been sorting out my grief? Mom, I think about it every day still. How my body was violated. How a sensation that should've felt so pleasurable got mixed with one so horrible. And those feelings have turned into anger mom. So much anger I have for the man that raped me. But I don't want to be angry mom. And I don't want to be intimate with anyone until I find a way to release that anger." I looked down for a moment as I tried to think of what to say next. Then the answer dawned on me. I looked at Hope and said, "I remember when it felt like I had some built up anger inside me. And Riley... my Riley that is... she pushed me to do something that could help with it. I tried to do it but sort of failed. But maybe it's time one of Riley's plans should be tried out again."

A few days later, me and Hope entered a prison. We sat at one of those tables that had a window in front of it. And then walking in was a man in an organge jumpsuit: a prisoner, a man, the man that had raped Hope. Hope looked right at the man as she said, "Do you know who I am?" The man nodded as he had a look of shame on his face. Hope who began to look a bit nervous said, "I... I was told during the trial two years ago that you were diagnosed with some sort of mental illness when you were younger. Some form of depression. Your lawyer tried to use that to help lessen your sentence, even though it failed. I don't think it was a good enough reason to excuse what you did. But it tells me that you were hurting inside. And well, I can relate to hurting a lot inside. Mostly because of what you did but..." Hope then began to cry as she lost the ability to keep speaking. The man then said, "I... I'm sorry. I know that's not good enough but... I'm sorry." Hope then brought herself back a bit to being more composed as she said, "I... I forgive you. For so long I didn't want to but... my mom said it would help me... and maybe it'll help you too. I forgive you." Hope then took out from her pocket: a picture of little Riley and said, "I'm probrably never going to let you meet her but... this is your daughter. I named her Riley. Don't worry about her by the way. She's being raised by a loving group of family and friends." The man looked at the picture for a long moment and then said, "Thank you." Hope then got up and said, "Yeah. You're welcome." Hope then left the room as tears began to run out of her eyes. Once we both left the room Hope fell to the ground still crying. I held Hope close. A few minutes later we left the prison and got into my car. As we drove away I said, "Are you going to be okay Hope?" Hope then said, "Mom... I don't think I feel angry anymore. So... I think I will be okay." I smiled as I said, "Hope... Riley... my Riley... would've been proud of you." Hope smiled as I continued to drive. We sat next to each other in silence for a few minutes. Then the silence was broken when Hope said, "Mom?" I then said, "Yeah." Hope then said, "Can... can you jewlery shopping with me this weekend? I... I think it's time I finally shop for an engagement ring... for Grace."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	17. Loses and Growth

The life of my family had finally reached the pinnacle of happiness. Hope had asked Grace to marry her. Grace of course said yes. Together, they became the most wonderful moms to little Riley: who of course was turning out to become a little genius like Hope was at a young age. Me and Josh were still busy doing our respective jobs, but considering we were still barely fifty, we lived with the jovial attitude that we still had so much life ahead of us. Then one day I got call from Josh's workplace. He had fallen on the job having seizure like symptoms and had been sent immediately to the hospital. I quickly went to the hospital to find Josh in decent spirits. But then through an MRI test he soon after took, we received the shocking news. Josh had a brain tumor and stage 4 cancer. Meaning it was quite possible... Josh only had a short time left to live. The news hit me like a punch in the gut. I was going to lose my husband, and there was seemingly nothing I could do.

Fortunately Josh was not gone yet. I spent hours upon hours, days upon days in that hospital with my husband. Just talking about our feelings and Josh discussing what was to happen after he was gone. I felt like just falling apart, but then Josh reminded me that I had been through many painful hardships before and gotten through them. He even encouraged me to write them all down in a book. I first wrote in great depth about everything that went through my mind when Riley died, then the mixed feelings I experienced when I was first pregnant. After that I wrote about the ups and down I experienced during parenting. From finding the right school for Hope, to awkwardly talking about sex with her, to encouraging her to take initiative with opening up about her feelings to Hope. And of course I ended it with the painful events we experienced that followed after Hope was raped, along with what I was experiencing now. Resulting in what you all are reading now. This online book I created called: _The Day My Best Friend Died (And Beyond)_ was something my husband Josh encouraged me to make. A sort of autobiography of my life. But not to discuss every detail of my life. But rather to discuss all of the pain and hardships that came through my greatest trials in life. And you know what? Despite how hard they all were, I did get through them all. And so will all of you. I'm not telling any of you all that every morning will get better. But one day, you will experience more good mornings than bad ones. I'm not saying you won't feel some kind of pain when you think back on painful memories. I always experience pain when I go back to the day my best friend Riley died. But I turned all of my painful experiences into growth experiences. I learned from my mistakes, and learned to take some kind of good out of every bad circumstance that surrounded me. I did it, and I know any one can too now.

On November 8th, my husband Joshua Matthews died. I was left a widow, but I wasn't left with just sadness. I was left with the memories of a nearly thirty year long romance I had with the greatest man I ever knew. I was left with all of the memories I had of Josh in which he encouraged me to be stronger. And I still had the rest of my family that me and Josh had started together. An amazing daughter, daughter in law, and granddaughter whom I wouldn't trade for the world. I may have hated many parts of the journey that got me to where I am, but if I was asked to go through it all again in order to re-obtain what I have now, I would do it in a heart beat. Thank you all for reading my story.

 **THE END (FOR NOW)**

 ***Author's Long Note -** So is this end of this series? Only time will tell. If there's enough demand, lots of views, and maybe some good suggestions from readers, I will continue the series. But as of now: Thank you to everybody who showed support to this amazing tale of mine. I think Maya in character in this chapter sums up why I made this series in the first place. I won't go into all of the details but despite some chapters of this series being pure fiction, other parts were based off things that had happened to me, while other parts were based off things that happened to people I knew. To be completely honest, I made up this series as I went along. I finished each chapter not knowing what was going to happen next. But with each chapter, my hope was to tell a realistic story about real things that do happen to real people. I wrote this way so that people who have experienced these hardships know they're not alone, and so that others can have an idea of what to do if they experience similar hardships or better know how to talk to/help others that go through similar hardships one day in the future. This series meant so much to me, and I'm happy so many of you all enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.


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